The Ruling on Kissing One’s Spouse While Fasting — Imam Ibn ‘Abdil-Barr
These benefits are from the esteemed Mālikī Scholar, Imām Ibn ‘Abdil-Barr (D. 463AH), in his book ‘al-Istidhkār’, a detailed explanation of Imām Mālik’s Ḥadīth Collection, ‘al-Muwattā’. His commentary stands as one of the most comprehensive Fiqh texts, encompassing the viewpoints of jurists from various schools of thought alongside their respective evidences.
Imām Mālik (rahimahullah) states in his ‘al-Muwatta’:
Chapter: Narrations Concerning the Permissibility of a Fasting Person Kissing His Wife
Mālik reported from Zayd ibn Aslam from ‘Atā ibn Yasār that a man kissed his wife while he was fasting in Ramadan. This made him very anxious, and so he sent his wife to the Prophet ﷺ to ask him about that for him. She went in and saw Umm Salamah (radiyallahu ‘anha), the wife of the Prophet, and mentioned the matter to her, and Umm Salamah told her that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ used to kiss while he was fasting. So she went back and told her husband that, but it only made him find fault all the more and he said, “We are not like the Messenger of Allah, Allah makes permissible for the Messenger of Allah whatever He wishes.”
His wife then went back to Umm Salamah (radiyallahu ‘anha)and found the Messenger of Allah ﷺ with her. The Messenger of Allah said, “What does this woman need?”, and Umm Salamah told him. The Messenger of Allah said, “Didn’t you tell her that I do that myself?” and she said, “I told her, and she went to her husband and told him, but it only made him find fault all the more and say, “We are not like the Messenger of Allah, Allah makes permissible for the Messenger of Allah whatever He wishes.” The Messenger of Allah ﷺ got angry and said, “By Allah, I am the one with the most taqwa of Allah of you all, and of you all the one who best knows His limits.”
Imam Ibn ‘Abdil-Barr (rahimahullah):
This hadith has been reported in a Mursal manner[1] by all of the narrators of al-Muwatta from Malik. The fact that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ kissed his wives while he was fasting is authentically established in the hadiths of ‘Aisha, Umm Salamah and Hafsah (radiyallahu ‘anhun). Malik reported the hadith of Aisha with both a connected chain of narration from the hadith of Hishām, from his father, from ‘Aisha as well as another mursal chain as we have mentioned.
From the Fiqh benefits in this hadith is that it is permissible for a fasting person to kiss their spouse in Ramadan and outside of Ramadan regardless of whether they are young youth or old in age due to the general and apparent meaning of the hadith. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ did not ask the woman, “Is your husband elderly or young?” If such a distinction were legislated, the Prophet ﷺ would not have remained silent because he is the one who conveys and explains Allāh’s legislation to His servants.
I believe that the scholars who distinguish between old age and youth regarding kissing while fasting do so based on the statement of ‘Aisha (radiyallahu ‘anha), “And who among you is more able to control himself than the Messenger of Allah?” She said this when she narrated that the Prophet ﷺ kissed her while he was fasting. She means by it: “Who can control their desires more than the Messenger of Allah?”
Both young and old are equally permitted to kiss their spouses while fasting according to ‘Aisha (radiyallahu ‘anha); however, her concern was rooted in mercy for the youth and a precautionary measure. Evidence supporting this includes:
Mālik reported from Yahya ibn Sa‘id that ‘Ātikah, the daughter of Zayd ibn ‘Amr ibn Nufayl, the wife of ‘Umar ibn al-Khattāb (radiyallahu ‘anhu), used to kiss the head of ‘Umar while he was fasting, and ‘Umar would not prohibit her from doing so.
Malik reported from Ibn al-Nadhr, from ‘Aisha, the daughter of Talha, that she was with ‘Aisha, the mother of the believers, when her husband, ‘Abdullāh ibn ‘Abdil-Rahmān ibn Abi Bakr (who is ‘Aisha’s nephew), came to them while he was fasting. ‘Aisha (radiyallahu ‘anha) said to him, “What stops you from going close to your wife, kissing her and and engaging in affectionate behaviour?” So he said, “Should I kiss her while I am fasting?” Aisha said to him, “Yes.”.
Mālik reported from Zayd ibn Aslam that both Abū Hurayrah and Sa‘d ibn Abi Waqqās (radiyallahu ‘anhuma) permitted the fasting person to kiss their spouse.
Scholars have reached a consensus (ijmā’) that those who dislike a fasting person kissing their spouse do so out of fear that it will lead to ejaculation or pre-ejaculation. They do not differ that if someone kisses their spouse and avoids experiencing even a little or a lot of that then there is nothing upon them.
Companions who permit kissing while fasting include ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab and Sa‘d ibn Abi Waqqās, Abū Hurayrah, Ibn ‘Abbās and ‘Aisha (radiyallahu ‘anhum). It is also the opinion of ‘Atā, al-Sha‘bi, al-Hasan as well as Ahmad, Ishāq and Dāwūd. Likewise, Abū Hanifah and his followers affirm the permissibility, provided one is confident that it will not cause ejaculation. They stipulate making up the fast if ejaculation occurs but without expiation. Al-Thawri, al-Hasan ibn Hayy, and al-Shāfi’i share the same view, stating that there is nothing upon them except that the fast must be made up. Ibn ‘Ulayyah said: “Kissing does not invalidate the fast except if it causes the person to ejaculate.”
I am unaware of any scholars permitting kissing while fasting without requiring confidence in avoiding any consequences (ejaculation or pre-ejaculation). If one knows that kissing will invalidate the fast, it is obligatory to abstain from it.”
If a person kisses their spouse and it causes pre-ejaculation then there is nothing upon them according to the opinion of al-Shāfi‘i, Abū Hanifah, al-Thawri, al-Awzā‘i and Ibn ‘Ulayyah.
Ahmad and al-Shāfi‘i do not hold that there is an expiation except for the one who has sexual intercourse where penetration occurs. Ahmad extends this to instances of intercourse that occur out of forgetfulness while al-Shāfi’i specifies that it applies only if it is intentional.
Mālik said: “I prefer for the fasting person to abstain from kissing in Ramadan. Should kissing in Ramadan lead to ejaculation, one must make up the fast and expiate.[2] If it leads to pre-ejaculation, only making up the fast is required and there is no expiation upon them.” The later followers of Mālik from Baghdad hold that making up the fast in this scenario is only recommended and not obligatory.
Additionally, we have clarified in ‘al-Tamhid’[3] that a benefit from this hadith is the obligation to act upon the narration of one person (khabar al-wāhid).
Imām Mālik (rahimahullah) then states:
Chapter: Narrations Concerning the Rebuke of a Fasting Person Kissing His Wife
Mālik reported that he had heard that ‘Aisha (radiyallahu ‘anha), the wife of the Prophet, whenever she mentioned that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ kissed while fasting, she would say, “And who among you is more able to control himself than the Messenger of Allah?”
Mālik reported from Hishām ibn ‘Urwah that ‘Urwah ibn al-Zubayr said, “I do not think that kissing invites to good for people who are fasting.”
Mālik reported from Zayd ibn Aslam from ‘Atā ibn Yasār that ‘Abdullāh ibn ‘Abbās (radiyallahu ‘anhuma) was asked about kissing while fasting. He permitted it for older men but disliked it for young men.
Mālik reported from Nāfi‘ that ‘Abdullāh ibn ‘Umar (radiyallahu ‘anhuma) used to forbid kissing and fondling while fasting.
Imam Ibn ‘Abdil-Barr (rahimahullah):
A fasting person kissing his wife being disliked is also the opinion of Ibn Mas‘ūd (radiyallahu ‘anhu).
Mālik follows Ibn ‘Umar’s opinion rather than Ibn ‘Abbas’s on this matter (radiyallahu ‘anhuma). While Ibn ‘Abbas permits it for older men but dislikes it for the young, Ibn ‘Umar dislikes it for both — this is the opinion of Mālik, and he usually adopts the cautious approach (ihtiyāt).
The fundamental reasoning behind scholars’ disapproval of kissing for fasting individuals lies in their concern that it may lead to sexual intercourse.
Source: Slightly abridged from al-Istidhkār of Imām Ibn ‘Abdil Barr (3/293-298)
Footnotes:
[1] A mursal ḥadith is when a tābi‘ī — a successor of the companions who never met the Prophet — narrates a ḥadīth directly from the Prophet and he does not mention who narrated the ḥadīth to him. A mursal chain of narration is considered weak because of the disconnection in the chain.
[2] This is referring to the expiation of sexual intercourse while fasting in Ramadan, read our article on the topic: Expiation of Sexual Intercourse
[3] ‘al-Tamhid’ is another explanation of al-Muwaṭṭā’ authored by Imam Ibn ‘Abdil-Barr
